Graduation, Episode 1

Today there is one question I demand to have answered by someone. That is,

Where did the time go?

In a few hours, I will have walked the long green stage wearing a white flowy camping tent with an empty diploma holder tucked under one arm and by then, my question still probably won’t be answered. All I can say for sure is that High School was one of the best four seconds of my life. To any of my teen readers living in them now, I beg you not to take them for granted. Each second during high school has the potential to drastically change what happens during the millions of seconds after high school, because the teenage years are powerful ones. They are a name for a metamorphosis which takes place in innocent children and warps them into opinionated, passionate, strong-willed young people. High School is the launching pad and really, takeoff only takes what feels like four seconds. That’s shorter than a vine…

Today as I walked across campus for probably the last time, I caught myself walking at the pace I usually would sprint at to get to class, (back before second semester when still cared about being on time). I caught myself in habit and stopped for a moment. It was then when I realized I didn’t need to rush anymore, not on this campus at least. Crunch-time was over, I had already won the race. So I walked slower, more thoughtfully, down my favorite alley which lies between the tennis court fence and the swimming pool fence. I love that alley so much, because when it rained, I used to stand there and watch the water collect in puddles on the tennis courts. On the opposite side and in another time of year, the swimming pool always made me jealous with its chlorine aura challenging the oncoming summer heat of spring. These are things I’ll hope to never forget, and if my memory fails me someday it’s comforting to know I have this.

Anyway, thank you dear reader as always for doing what you do best here. May your Thursday be as great as your Sunday.

Stay tuned for pt. 2

-SJT

(via gregwasout on tumblr)
(via gregwasout on tumblr)

The Saddest Week of my Life.

I wrote “love” on my arms on Monday for suicide awareness week, because that’s what it was. And then I  had to go over the faded letters again in pen on Tuesday, 9/11, because I heard about Sally. Her name isn’t Sally, but it’s better that I call her that.

Sally had done exactly what Suicide Awareness Week was established to prevent. She had succumbed to teen depression, and made a choice that would cause permanent results not just for her, but for her family and for her friends, and for her teachers, and any of those who knew her name.

This week a grey blanket lay over my school where she once laughed with her friends in the halls. It was sad at first, awfully sad. And then it changed to a solemn sense of remembering. Remembering her life, remembering if there was anyone else at school who had shown the same symptoms as Sally, or who had shown them that day. In my circle of friends, we found a few and checked in on them. We cried together as a school, and it was cold and dark. Not yet rainy. We cried together at lunch as friends and in classes with teachers. We held each other, and were always asking,

Are you okay?

My spanish teacher put her desk where she had sat in the back of the room facing the class, holding cards and flowers. The desk seemed sad. A table was set up by a wall where a poster read her name and people wrote messages to her. Unsaid thoughts written in Crayola marker on the poster and on the table sat flowers, several bouquets, just as beautiful as her life had been. A friend brought candles, and we lit them reverently.

I haven’t been the same. Nobody has. It’s hard to put any effort into anything, like studying or Volleyball. All drive to do things seems to be gone because there’s a hole in our school and sadness in every corner. But there’s always hope. I’m looking back up at the candle as I type… fire is hope and sorrow. It’s okay to be sad, but that sadness must spark a change. I’m still sad, but I also went to church today. Oh thank heaven for church. It’s thanks to my religion that I know where Sally rests. I do. Again, that’s faith.

All will be okay. It will be better than okay because there is still good, good life in this world. I believe that Sally is not lost, and she did not live her life here on earth in vain, because it was beautiful. And it was something to learn from. Something big enough to wake up a whole school and city. And I believe that I will see Sally again later, and we’ll all run up to hug her. We will all remember how to laugh again soon. Together. That’s what Sally would have  wanted. And may she rest in Paradise.

“Don’t forget to love each other”  – Our Principal

The Buttons?

“Another blog housekeeping chore, explaining one’s modifications to her audience…” -SydneyJoTo

After questing minutes upon minutes on Google for a simple “How-To” on buttons… I found it. An adorable mommy-blog, with the theme of Chickens (of which I’ve lost the name) and pink polka-dots it seems. Well anyway, it was great find and obviously it worked. Shall I explain the product?

(Now pulling up my blog in another tab… a vain habit I know.)

Okay!

Buttons are ways of self-expression, like posters and magazine clippings in a High School Locker expressing your sixteen-year-olds interests. Mine are still a work in progress but here’s a quick explanation of each so far. [Post WILL BE subject to change :]

1) Mine. Took about two hours you should know. My background is one of my favorite pictures in iPhoto and I would not deprive my button from it. Simple. Cute. -aw thanks! (Share on your bloggie if you agree!)

2) Mormon(dot)org, because it’s the religion that brings me closest to God.

3) A Beautiful Mess. Hey what can I say, I’m a fifteen-year-old romanticist! Cute+Messes= xD

4) Do Something. This poster hung in my Jr. High locker room last year, and had been for about four years prior. My two sweet P.E. teachers (who I worked for as an aid) encouraged this program to the extent of extra credit… in the form of um, NOT RUNNING. So there’s a little extra love I’ve got for this site.

5) Toms. Adorable shoes. I’m on my second pair, which means I’ve helped my second African child not get blisters and prevented the contraction of two cases of disease. I’ve probably babysat kids the same age.

6)+ …many Many MANY more to come.

They’re just pixels on a screen if you don’t click on one. Comment your favorite causes! I love a good cause.