On College Essays and Lorde

She came out wearing genie pants probably concocted and designed by Coco Chanel herself in the ’60’s. Her mane was the manifestation of a New-Zelander Merida. Her smile lines made me melt. The bruises and shin splints from standing so long in the mosh-pit were worth it, cause we got these:

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This will all probably sound so dumb when I’m 41. But for now, we’re just a bunch of young people who find nonconformism the most attractive trait a person can have. Why do we love Lorde? Because her nonconformism is what we’d call “hip”. There’s no arguing because “hip” is to teenagers as shoes is to feet. and woman THE SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD spent two nights in Berkely with over 2,000 people under twenty. The point? The point is, the last month I’ve been perusing college websites, planning papers, making lists, all while mentally gaping at the fact that I have no idea where I’m going to be living a year from now. I’m supposed to have that figured out in five months while being in High School. Up until a month ago when adults pulled the unavoidable, “So where you thinking about going to–” the follow up would always be, “Oh well, you’ve got plenty of time don’t worry about that yet”. Up until a month ago it wasn’t time to worry. Now it suddenly is. The adult world is rearing it’s ugly head and yet, we’re still called “kids”, the same title of societal rank we held in preschool.

Why I think I find Lorde so interesting, isn’t necessarily her name, mane, or nonconformism. But rather, her inability to uphold any stereotypical teen traits whatsoever, despite her being seventeen. She’s created her own social spectrum, between young adult and adult. An old teenager, but not like a twenty-some-year old. She’s not attending public school. She has friends all over the world. She has a thing for designer clothing. Her songs are just– written from random throught-strings in her head and preformed with overbearing self-confidence that spills into her dancing. She can do all that because she’s Lorde. What are we doing here, sitting behind computers together? Well okay she probably does that too.

But the point is asking the question, colleges want you to know yourself before they adopt you as their own. But what if you don’t know yourself? What if you’re not as lucky as people like Lorde, to whom self-expression and self-explanation comes so easily. Putting yourself out into the world is easy. You take pictures, write blog posts, speak words, make faces, and you’ve communicated an idea. But colleges want you to find the idea that is you, the ideas that you think you stand the strongest for, the idea that you’ve created for yourself in the minds of others, to put into clear and interesting words what all of that is.

See the dilemma? When and if I figure this out, I’ll put an advice post out there. But for now if anyone has some words, encouragement, or good stuff on Netflix I can use as a distraction, that’d be great. (Freaks and Geeks is the current favorite, total irony I know)

Have a lovely sunday night dear reader. It’s good to be back.

-SJT

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